girliegirl32786: (1790s Sarcenet Me)
[personal profile] girliegirl32786
Thank you all so much for your kind words and hugs. We knew we would lose her eventually, her lungs were so full of scar tissue that is was only a matter of time, but we still weren't ready. We both were (and are) really crushed. She was our baby, our pocket kitty who wobbled into our hearts at only 3 weeks old. She really was the sweetest kitty, fully of affections, playfulness, and curiosity. And she stayed that way until the very end. Both the vet and the tech at the emergency clinic commented on how sweet she was, and our regular vet even cried. I know I'm biased, but she was just so special. I miss her terribly.

I wrote what happened below because I needed to just get it out but then I realized its really sad. I'm sorry.

Since her asthma diagnosis last February, we had done a good job managing her breathing. She had a puff of her inhaler twice a day, plus a different rescue inhaler for when she had an attack or bad breathing day, and a long-acting steroid shot every 6-8 weeks. She needed that base of steroids or she did start to lose her energy and appetite.

This worked well until late October when she started feeling bad again. Every thing caused her breathing to be labored. She developed an upper respiratory infection on top of the asthma, and since we couldnt give her any oral medication, we had to do with shots which are less effective, so it took her several shots to feel better. She was still sweet and playful, but her energy didnt fully recover and her breathing just became so labored all the month of November. Poor baby even developed a bed sore from sleeping on her side so much.

We had a frank discussion with the vet and we knew that it was time to move to just keeping her happy and comfortable, moving up the steroid injections to help. She had another steroid shot the first week of December and for two weeks she was back to running around the house, eating well, hanging out with the Christmas tree, and all her favorite things. But the week before Christmas she took a sudden down turn. She started vomiting again (which always made her have an asthma attack), loosing weight, and back to the labored breathing. At first, I thought she might just be having a bad day, sometimes she would because of pollen or allergens, etc. But after three days, on the Friday before Christmas, we brought her into the vet. Since it was too early for another steroid shot, they gave her a different 48 hour kind to help get her over the hump of whatever was bothering her, plus a couple other shots to take home in case she needed it over the holiday weekend. The steroid should have kicked in very shortly but it never did. At first we thought she was just worn out from the stress of the vet visit and car ride, but when I woke up on Christmas Eve, she still hadn't left the living room, and as the day progressed she wouldnt eat (she hadn't eaten the day before either) and her breathing just got worse and worse despite all our attempts to help her. Finally, she went to the bathroom but collapsed in the litter box after. Her breath was so shallow that we knew she wouldnt make it through the night without help. We worried that she wouldnt survive the stress of the car ride but we had to try. We rushed her to the emergency vet which was thankfully open, and she spent the whole 25 minute ride with her little head in my hand (something she loved to do). They put her in the oxygen tank immediately and managed to stabilize her, but the vet ran some tests and she had fluid around her heart and in her lungs, so they tried some medicines to help with that. The kept her there in the oxygen that night and over Christmas day. She remained stable but she didn't improve with the meds like the vet had hoped she would. Still, the vet didnt think we had reached the end. Since the emergency clinic closed at 7am on the day after Christmas, we had to pick her up to transfer her to our regular vet (20 minutes away) so they could continue to monitor her and make a plan. But she couldnt make the trip. She was okay at first, she purred when she saw us and was so sweet, but after a few minutes she started panting and having trouble breathing. She climbed out the carrier and sat on my lap for a minute but then I knew something was wrong. She just couldnt breathe and wasnt getting any oxygen, she was gasping and making this horrible cry. We desperately tried everything we could think of to help her, but she slowly suffocated in my arms. It was horrible. Up until those last moments I dont think she suffered but I would have given anything to give her a peaceful end.

We were only a few minutes from our vet so we just drove there, not knowing what else to do. She was gone, but they made sure for us and then took us back to a room so we could say goodbye. They offered to have her cremated and give us the ashes, but I couldnt stand the thought of someone who didnt know her and love her being the last person to touch her and see her. So I put her in the box and we took her home. She is buried in the garden and I'm going to put a tree there this spring. She loved trees. I would buy her palm trees and she loved to sit and sleep under them, so it really seems fitting.

Date: 2016-12-28 07:59 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Poor sweet kitty! You took such loving care of her. I can't imagine how painful it must have been to watch her struggle, especially at the end. So many hugs for you!!

Date: 2016-12-28 08:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
*hugs* What an awful time for you to go through. It's so tough when you can see that there's something wrong, but you can't do anything. I think the tree is a lovely idea, the perfect way to remember her.

Date: 2016-12-28 11:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Oh you poor thing! I'm so sorry for your loss.


Date: 2016-12-29 01:14 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]

You were the very best of kitty mommies. I'm so sorry your sweet baby is gone.

Date: 2016-12-29 01:31 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]

You were the very best of kitty mommies. I'm so sorry your sweet baby is gone.

Date: 2016-12-29 05:33 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I'm so so very sorry for your loss. :-( I wish I had more words, but I don't have anything to make this better. Thinking of you and sending you virtual hugs. :-(

Date: 2016-12-31 06:38 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Oh, no. I am so sorry to hear that. Losing a beloved pet is just heartbreaking. *hugs*

Date: 2017-01-03 03:38 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
**hugs** I am so sorry for your loss. Losing a pet is incredibly painful. *hugs*
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